Developmentally disabled RNC chairman Michael Steele just learned about a new country called Greenland, and he’s pretty sure he knows the history of said “Green” country. What follows is an actual quote from an adult who happens to be the “leader” of a major political party, and also, um, really dumb. Huffpo reports that Steele, sitting in for radio-host fucksack William Bennet, said the following about global warming, presumably while tripping on robitussin:
“We are cooling. We are not warming. The warming you see out there, the supposed warming, and I am using my finger quotation marks here, is part of the cooling process. Greenland, which is now covered in ice, it was once called Greenland for a reason, right? Iceland, which is now green. Oh I love this. Like we know what this planet is all about. How long have we been here? How long? No [sic] very long.” [emphasis added.]
Hahahahahahaha. Man, that guy is a real hoot. As Huffpo reports, Steele is a bit off target with his history.
“Greenland, for the record, likely had forestation some 450,000 to 800,000 years ago. But its name was derived, as is most commonly believed, from Erik the Red, who wanted to trick people into going to that island as opposed to the more hospitable Iceland.” [emphasis added.]
Hard to believe that people could be tricked that easily by a silly name, right?
ThinkProgress shows how idiotic Steele is to say the planet is “cooling,” and, via that post, a Discover Magazine blogger writes that, “My take is that I’m embarrassed for the Republicans.” That’s a quote where the emphasis is in the original.
The whole Huffpo article is actually a really fun read. The writer accurately calls Steele’s cough-syrup-induced frenzy a “tour de force,” and includes this wonderful bit of understatement:
“The Greenland gaffe was not Steele’s most glaring. Earlier in the program a caller asked him about the importance of education. The RNC Chair responded with a curious comment about the need to understand the differences between Hitler and Mussolini, as opposed to FDR and “his honor, the honorable Winston Churchill.” Only, he spoke of “Roberto Mussolini” — an obscure essayist, it seems — as opposed to the much more infamous fascist, Benito.”
I’m just glad he didn’t start shitting on Roberto Benigni, the beloved Italian actor/director responsible for Life Is Beautiful, though that might not be far off. At this point, what’s to stop Michael Steele from condemning Werner Herzog for the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, or John Malkovich’s character in Rounders for the Bolshevik Revolution?
Also, if this “Greenland means it’s green” theory of knowledge is any indicator, I can’t wait for Steele’s inevitable rant about how cold it is in Chile:
“Guys, it’s called fucking Chile, okay? Yeah, it’s spelled different, but it sounds the same! Why would they call it Chile if it weren’t chilly down there. Don’t make no sense. Also, they love to eat chili in that country. It’s the national food, in fact. Listen up: they love chili so much, they named their whole goddamn country after it. Yeah, Chile, can you believe it? Man, I love history.”