So here’s a good reason to dust off those Bush-era “Europe or Bust” signs, pack your vintage WWII suitcase full of porno and cigarettes, and just buy a ticket to anywhere but America.
It seems DailyKos commissioned Research 2000 — a nonpartisan, independent polling firm — to ask 2,000 self-identified Republicans just how bat shit insane they are, and the resounding answer the pollsters got was, “VERY!”
Before we look at these horrifying poll results, let’s remind ourselves that there are all sorts of explanations for these disturbing numbers. As far as I can tell, the poll’s methodology doesn’t account for answers given while tripping on cough syrup, or for answers given while watching Larry the Cable Guy’s new special, which would cause the responder to yell out any old thing just to get back to the boob toob watchin’. So, you know, keep things in perspective.
Ok, ok. First question. (BTW, these numbers are taken directly from the Kos link above.)
Should Barack Obama be impeached, or not?
Not Sure 29
Hahaha, okay. Sure. Let’s impeach him, now, for whatever reason. We’ll fix it in post, as Gay Hollywood says. Is being Black a high crime yet?
Do you think Barack Obama is a socialist?
Not Sure 16
The best thing about Socialists is how they always do everything in their power to save Capitalism. That’s how tricky Socialsts are nowadays! They are in our midst, saving our financial institutions!
Let’s slow things down with an old-fashioned birther question.
Do you believe Barack Obama was born in the United States, or not?
Not Sure 22
Yikes-ers! 58% either doubt or are positive that old Barry wasn’t born in these awful Estados Unidos. Cool.
Then there are a few questions about terrorists winning and ACORN stealing every white vote and making it an “urban” vote or something, but then after that! Zingers, left and right.
Do you believe Sarah Palin is more qualified to be President than Barack Obama?
Not Sure 33
Pow pow pow, shoot ’em up, who’s a winner, step right up kid, clouds are water things — why even use complete sentences or thoughts THEY ARE NOT NECCESSARY.
Do you believe Barack Obama is a racist who hates White people?
Not Sure 33
I have to recuse myself from making a joke about this result, because I’m also a racist who hates White people.
The next questions are basically “How awesome is the death penalty,” and “How gross are homos — am I right?” The Republicans answer, predictably, “Very awesome” and “Totally gross.”
The last question, and the response to it, actually leaves me with a little bit of hope.
Do you believe that the only way for an individual to go to heaven is though Jesus Christ, or can one make it to heaven through another faith?
Not Sure 18
USA! USA! JESUS CHRIST! JESUS CHRIST! 67%! 67%!