Huckabee would like to experiment with puppies, maybe sexually?

Bass-slappin’ presidential-loser Mike Huckabee is often thought of as “The Good Republican,” because out of all the members of the GOP he seems like he’s the least likely to to touch your children or launch a first-strike nuclear assault on Iran.  It’s important to remember, though, that this Fun Uncle Mike character is also a backwards-thinking bigot who doesn’t understand why these goddamn homosexual American citizens won’t happily embrace their second-class citizenness. 

The Huck recently gave an interview to The Perspective, a student publication at The College of New Jersey in Ewing, NJ, in which — among other crazy things — he advocated against gay adoption rights because, “children are not puppies.”  Hahahahaha, what?  What am I supposed to do with all this expensive wet food I bought for my nephew, the human?! 

Yes, it’s true, The Liberalest Republican argued that allowing gay and lesbian couples to adopt would be engaging in a social “experiment” that might be harmful to the child.  Boy, wait til you hear his evidence that children who grow up with same-sex parents are worse off.  JUST WAIT TIL YOU HEAR HOW PERSUASIVE IT IS.  Just wait.  Wait for it.  Wait for it. 

Hahahahaha, just kidding, cites no evidence to support his claim, because there is none, other than Hate.  Presumably the better non-experiment (?) is to deny foster children a stable home with two committed parents, to keep them in a constant state of limbo, and then to lock them up in privately-run jails when they get angry and violent because foster kids are always looking to make an easy buck.  That is the hip, Christian thing to do, says The Huck. 

Just to round out the idiocy, Huckabee did the “incest, bestiality, etc.” dance that all conservatives have to do when they talk about normal human sexuality.  You know the drill — “How can you stop 3 men and 5 horses and a dead puppy from getting married?  Huh!?!?!?!?!”  It’s such a persuasive argument.

It’s literally impossible to find a better Republican than Mike Huckabee, and he is an awful person who doesn’t think two men or two women should be legally allowed to raise a child.  Move to the Center, Democrats. 

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2 Responses to Huckabee would like to experiment with puppies, maybe sexually?

  1. jessemulert says:

    Seriously, what is with the puppy-person equations lately? Yesterday at Hoover’s obedience school a woman opined with astonishment that “[I] wouldn’t leave my kids tied up outside the store.” I thought, “Oh but I would. To cause suffering. And to breed fear among the populace.”

    …also: something, something, topic at hand. Huckster.

  2. alibeamish says:

    awful
    there are lots of orphans
    i think Antoine Fisher did live in a jail, because there were no foster homes available,so he ‘chose’ to go to a juvenile facility

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